Sunday 20 February 2022

This is just sad

 Wow, okay. So I have completely no memory of creating this shitty blog or ever writing in it, but going back through I can see that it was terrible. I wrote so little and it was all complaining.

I think I am going to do an update, since I can and it might help me out with a few of my problems to get it out where no one will ever see it.

So a bit of background; I am now 18, just graduated college a couple of months ago, made some really great friends there who have mostly moved away in the last week or so, so its wee pretty hard. I will be going to Massey Uni in wellington starting in 2 days which is a bit scary. I am a bit worried I won't like it and will drop out and not know what to do with the rest of my life but I am trying to let that go and just realise that if I do end up wanting to drop out or anything, I can just figure it out the instead of worrying about it now when its not even a certainty.

I'm not really sure what to expect from university but I'm pretty sure it won't be like all the clichés because I'm not really doing a brain course, I am doing a creative one. Everything is more hands on so I don't know how much sitting and researching or writing I will be doing rather than making stuff. I am doing a Bachelor of Design with Honours, Majoring in Fashion to give a little context. So a lot of it will be designing and sewing.

I bought a new laptop for my course a few days ago which is how I found this blog. I am a bit worried I spent all that money for nothing an I won't even need this computer but either way its nice to have something new and it is quite a good computer. It doesn't have any design things on it or anything, it is just a normal laptop but that is all I need as far as I am aware. There are computers at school with all the designing programs on them that we will learn to use.

Because of covid and all that, my mum is now working from home indefinitely and so I have been keeping her company as she is like me and does not cope well on her own. I don't want to leave her when I go to uni. I know I will still be living at home and I don't go in for classes on Wednesdays but I am still worried. She will be alone for 4 days out of the week and I know how hard that is. 


I think thats enough for now, I have definitely written more than usual but to be fair I am also 5 years older. I may or may not come back on here, depends on how I am feeling and if I even remember this exists. See ya!